My
mind is out to get me.
Really,
I think my brain just likes to screw with me sometimes. Because
instead of spending my winter break relaxing, catching up on some
much needed sleep, and stuffing myself with food, my mind decided
that I needed change. So, completely out of the blue, I decided that
I wanted to move into the extra room upstairs and leave my huge
bedroom with attached bathroom behind.
I
was kind of confused at first, but then I realized it was my mind
messing with me again, so I knew I had to go with it. You have no
idea what my mind is capable of when you don't listen, believe me.
When
I told my parents, they just stared at me for a while before agreeing
to my wonderful idea. Because they're just that supportive. Or
they've given up trying to understand my nonsense.
So
now I'm sitting in my new room at my desk writing for you. And
although I have been working almost non stop on this room since
Monday, I have to admit: it's pretty fucking awesome in here. It's
exactly what I (or what my mind convinced me of) wanted. I seriously
can't stop smiling and just put down an extremely embarrassing
happy dance in front of my window that the neighbors probably saw.
But who cares?
Which
is what got me to this post about switching things up. I really did
need a change to get me out of the winter blues and switching rooms
did just that.
Well
played, brain, well played.
And
this is where all of you come in. If you didn't notice, tomorrow is
the last day of 2011 which means it's time for change. Now I'll
admit, I'm not a huge fan of the new years resolution thing everyone
gets so excited about. You're pretty much just promising yourself
things that are never going to happen and then next year you realize
you actually didn't, for example, lose fifty pounds. Thus, you fall
into a deep depression, eat your pain away, gain another fifty
pounds, decide to lose fifty pounds next year, and the cycle
continues. Until you've gained so much weight that you need to be
removed from your home by a crane.
I'm
getting you into the spirit, aren't I?!
So,
instead of setting unattainable goals, all I want you to do is switch
something up a little bit. It can just be for the day, or for a
week, or maybe you'll like the change so much that you'll keep it
that way.
I
thought ahead and did my switch up already so that I can enjoy it
during the new year. God I'm good.
But
since you're not all geniuses being controlled my a brain that has a
mind of its own (warning: painfully horrible pun. Whoops to late!),
you can do your switch up later.
I
came up with some ideas for switching things up, just in case your
brain has been fried by daytime television. Or prim-time television.
Or any other time television 'cause honestly, everything on t.v. is
crap. But that's a whole other story.
So
if your stuck in a winter rut, here are some ideas to bring a little
pep and excitement into your lives. And probably make you the talk
of the town (Note: not necessarily in a good way).
- Dye your hair pink with blue tips and tell people you got a cotton candy machine implanted into your head.
- Become a hipster and only talk to your cat because, you know, talking to people is too mainstream.
- Wear a fat suit to your New Years Eve party, take it off after a week, and brag about all of the weight you lost.
- Let your dog answer the phone all day (or week if you really want to piss some people off). Apologize the next day for your strange behavior, saying you ate too much chocolate bark at the family Christmas party (what is it with me and the puns today?)
- Change your look, preferably based on a celebrity. I would follow in Lady Gaga's footsteps by simply covering myself in glue and rolling around in random objects. Explain to your friends that god spoke to you and wanted you to dress that way.
Hopefully
these ideas will keep you guys busy for a while. If they're not
exactly what you had in mind, you could always just switch rooms.
But
that would be boring.
And
now I'm off to buy some hair dye, a fat suit, raw meet, some sparkly
shit, and a cat.
Not
for any reason of course. Just, you know, just in case.