Friday, December 30, 2011

...switching it up

My mind is out to get me.
Really, I think my brain just likes to screw with me sometimes. Because instead of spending my winter break relaxing, catching up on some much needed sleep, and stuffing myself with food, my mind decided that I needed change. So, completely out of the blue, I decided that I wanted to move into the extra room upstairs and leave my huge bedroom with attached bathroom behind.
I was kind of confused at first, but then I realized it was my mind messing with me again, so I knew I had to go with it. You have no idea what my mind is capable of when you don't listen, believe me.
When I told my parents, they just stared at me for a while before agreeing to my wonderful idea. Because they're just that supportive. Or they've given up trying to understand my nonsense.
So now I'm sitting in my new room at my desk writing for you. And although I have been working almost non stop on this room since Monday, I have to admit: it's pretty fucking awesome in here. It's exactly what I (or what my mind convinced me of) wanted. I seriously can't stop smiling and just put down an extremely embarrassing happy dance in front of my window that the neighbors probably saw. But who cares?
Which is what got me to this post about switching things up. I really did need a change to get me out of the winter blues and switching rooms did just that.
Well played, brain, well played.
And this is where all of you come in. If you didn't notice, tomorrow is the last day of 2011 which means it's time for change. Now I'll admit, I'm not a huge fan of the new years resolution thing everyone gets so excited about. You're pretty much just promising yourself things that are never going to happen and then next year you realize you actually didn't, for example, lose fifty pounds. Thus, you fall into a deep depression, eat your pain away, gain another fifty pounds, decide to lose fifty pounds next year, and the cycle continues. Until you've gained so much weight that you need to be removed from your home by a crane.
I'm getting you into the spirit, aren't I?!
So, instead of setting unattainable goals, all I want you to do is switch something up a little bit. It can just be for the day, or for a week, or maybe you'll like the change so much that you'll keep it that way.
I thought ahead and did my switch up already so that I can enjoy it during the new year. God I'm good.
But since you're not all geniuses being controlled my a brain that has a mind of its own (warning: painfully horrible pun. Whoops to late!), you can do your switch up later.
I came up with some ideas for switching things up, just in case your brain has been fried by daytime television. Or prim-time television. Or any other time television 'cause honestly, everything on t.v. is crap. But that's a whole other story.
So if your stuck in a winter rut, here are some ideas to bring a little pep and excitement into your lives. And probably make you the talk of the town (Note: not necessarily in a good way).

  1. Dye your hair pink with blue tips and tell people you got a cotton candy machine implanted into your head.
  2. Become a hipster and only talk to your cat because, you know, talking to people is too mainstream.
  3. Wear a fat suit to your New Years Eve party, take it off after a week, and brag about all of the weight you lost.
  4. Let your dog answer the phone all day (or week if you really want to piss some people off). Apologize the next day for your strange behavior, saying you ate too much chocolate bark at the family Christmas party (what is it with me and the puns today?)
  5. Change your look, preferably based on a celebrity. I would follow in Lady Gaga's footsteps by simply covering myself in glue and rolling around in random objects. Explain to your friends that god spoke to you and wanted you to dress that way.

Hopefully these ideas will keep you guys busy for a while. If they're not exactly what you had in mind, you could always just switch rooms.
But that would be boring.
And now I'm off to buy some hair dye, a fat suit, raw meet, some sparkly shit, and a cat.
Not for any reason of course. Just, you know, just in case.

No comments:

Post a Comment