Tuesday, December 27, 2011

...being young

I don't know about you, but I feel like I'm growing up way too fast.
You know how your parents used to say that you have plenty of time to be an adult later? Well, I'm 17 and later came a lot sooner than I expected.
A typical day in the life of me can be summed up in three words:
    -sleep ( and way too little of it)
    -school (ugh)
    -homework ( and way too much of it)
What the hell?!
I mean, when I was thirteen and naive, I wanted to be a grown up because it seemed so cool. Being a grown up meant being able to buy as many boxes of cocoa puffs as you wanted. Being a grown up meant driving a fire engine red convertible down the highway blasting The Backstreet Boys out the speakers. Being a grown up was exciting and mysterious, plus, the guys were way hotter than the immature thirteen year old boys in your grade who hadn't had a growth spurt yet.
And so we waited for the glory days to come. We waited and waited and kept waiting.
But then reality set in. 
I like to call it high school. 
Now, according to the thirteen year old me, I'm officially a grown up and I should be living the high life. But somehow, something must have gone wrong. Maybe I have a rare disease that causes me to be blind of the amazing things happening around me ( highly unlikely). Or maybe the entire world created a secret pact against me and their only goal is to leave me out of the fun (even less likely(although I've pissed off a good amount of people in my time)). I don't know what happened, but let me tell you, thirteen year old me: the shit I have to deal with on a daily basis in my grown-up life, that shit was not expected.
So I could go on for hours about how horrible my life is, but this post is actually supposed to be...wait for it...inspirational *glitter *glitter *sparkle *
Well, maybe not inspirational, but it has something. 
Here's to making the most of the childhood we have.(or had) 
Now, if you're 17, it's too late for you. One word for you: beer. Just drink away your pain like I do!
If you're living it up at thirteen: Good News! There's still hope for you! All you have to do is listen very closely. My advice might sound harsh, but it's coming from someone who figured out first hand that growing up isn't much fun. Listen to me and you'll have a wonderful time and won't end up a hopeless loser like myself. Read on!
To the little girls out there: quit dressing like a prostitute and texting your „boyfriend“. Stop bragging about your hot one night stand with bobby; you're not fooling anyone with that made up crap. Just, please, go outside and play on the swing set, watch a Disney princess movie, and draw with crayons like children are supposed to.
That was it! Not too bad, right?
God, I am such an inspirational piece of shit, aren't I. Watch out Oprah, there's a new bitch in town.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be studying for ten thousand tests that are coming up after winter break while I cry about my life and eat stale cheerios ( cocoa puffs are too fattening).

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